Harry Potter and the Return of the Ferret
by Mariachica
Summary: Draco Malfory has aways bugged Harry and his friends. But now they have a bet to see who can get back at Draco the best.


Name: Mariachica  
Title: Harry Potter and the return of the ferret.  
Category: Humor  
Note: This is my first Harry Potter fic … so be cruel ;)  
Summary: Draco Malfoy goes one step to far at insulting   
people, and this is the result!  
Rating: PG-13 for a little language  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything … so please … don't   
rub it in!  
  
It was Harry Potters 5th year at his school, Hogwarts. And considering everything that   
had happened in his life, everything was going pretty normally. Once again, (or one of   
them anyway) his arch enemy, Draco Malfoy was throwing over any insult he could   
manage at him and his best friends Hermoine Granger, and Ron Weasley.   
  
"What Potter, not get any lines in the newspaper today … upset that not everyone knows   
how your life is going?" Draco asked sarcastically.   
  
"Actually Malfoy … the only problem we have right now … is the sight of your ugly   
face … no wonder your mother always has her face scrunched up around you." Ron spat   
back!  
  
"Oh would you listen to that … your side kick through a come back at me, Potter."   
Malfoy threw back.  
  
"I'm not his side kick." Ron replied.  
  
"Sure could of fooled me, Weasley" Malfoy responded.  
  
"What's going on here?" Mad eye Moody asked as he came down into the main hall for   
breakfast. They decided to keep the real Moody on for this year to continue teaching   
defense of the dark arts.  
  
Malfoy of course, found out what happened to the real Moody, and knew this wasn't the   
same person who turned him into a ferret. But the memory still burned in his mind, and   
he was still apprehensive of this, person, "Nothing."  
  
"You know … Malfoy … I heard you made a pretty good ferret!" Moody said in a very   
sly way.  
  
"A … are you th .. threatening me?" Draco managed to stutter out.  
  
"Of course not … I never threaten … I only do!" And with that … there was a pop sound,   
and all of the sudden, Draco had turned back into the ferret he once was.  
  
"No no no … not again!" Professor Mogongal came running down the stairs and quickly   
turned Malfoy back into a human. "I can't believe this, I thought I talked to you about …   
oh .. right!"   
  
Moody told her everything that had happened, and she decided to take Malfoy up to   
Dumbledore's office. And of course, Moody would come with her to hear the rules …   
again.  
  
All of the sudden, Ginny, Fred, and George came down the stairs hearing what had   
happened. And Hagrid wasn't to far behind.  
  
"The return of the ferret … that was positively beautiful!" Ron said with a dreamy look   
on his face.  
  
"You know Ron …" Hermoine started to say.  
  
But Ron cut her off my saying, "I don't want to hear any of your moral moments … I   
want to enjoy this right now!"  
  
"Don't worry … I won't stop you. I was just thinking that seeing him get payback was   
kinda nice. What if we all like tried our own little things … and see who comes up with   
the best one!" Hermoine said.  
  
"You know what … I think that's a very good idea … like a bet or something!" George   
replied.  
  
"How does 20 galleons each sound?" Fred asked!  
  
"I'm in!" Harry said.  
  
"You know I am!" Ron said with a BIG smile on his face.  
  
"Here's my 20!" Ginny said.  
  
"We are both in!" George said mentioning him and Fred.  
  
"Well … I guess it couldn't hurt!" Hagrid said winking at Harry!  
  
Everyone then turned to Hermoine until she finally responded, "Alright, alright … here's   
my 20!"  
  
And that was that … the bet was set … and Ron took the money, put it in one big hat …   
and they were set!  
  
***************  
  
Ron, Harry, and Hermoine all walked together to class with Hagrid today. They once   
again had to share their 'Care of magical creatures' with the Slytherins.  
  
"Ok 'rybody … today we are going to look at sheba's." Hagrid said pointing out some   
furry looking animals that slightly resembled cats. The problem was, it didn't look like   
they had any heads. And the tail … if you could call it that … was in the front!  
  
"What the hec are these supposed to be?" Malfoy asked disgusted.  
  
"Being a smart ass … ahem … smart mouth again are we … well if you were paying   
attention … you would have heard me say 'Sheba'." Hagrid said sarcastically.  
  
"I heard you, you half wit … but god … look at them!" He replied appalled.  
  
The day continued on just like that. And it was obvious that Hagrid was getting quite   
annoyed with Draco. And of course, Draco was doing all he could to annoy Hagrid.   
When class finally ended, Harry, Ron, and Hermoine went to go visit with him until they   
saw him pull out the last Skwert which they had 'worked with' the last year. All of the   
sudden they heard Hagrid say 'Aspoc deli Malfoy'.  
  
The next thing they new … the Skwert was running right towards them. But to their   
surprise … it ran right past them and started chasing Malfoy. It wasn't until the thing   
actually bit his but that he realised what was happening. He tried running away, but the   
thing kept on following him … it even followed him into Hogwarts and up towards the   
Slytherin tower!  
  
"Nice touch Hagrid!" Ron said as they all decided not to disturb him!  
  
**********  
  
"God that was so funny … I mean … it even followed him to Snape's class today. Of   
course that is when it all ended though!" Ron said a little sadly.  
  
"And of course … Snape seemed to of gotten the impression that it was all my fault."   
Harry said unsurprised.  
  
"I tell you though … that was so funny when it started to eat the desks … although in the   
end it only caused more trouble." Hermoine said glumly.  
  
"Yeah … we got extra homework." Ron said.  
  
"Well I bet you guys thought that was funny!" Draco said as his two goons, Crabbe and   
Goyle tried hard to stifle the laughs that they had.  
  
"Well … actually … yeah." Ron replied.  
  
"But we didn't do it!" Hermoine quickly said.  
  
"Oh shut up you muggle mutt!" Draco spat at her.  
  
"Don't say that to Hermoine!" Ron said defensively.  
  
"Oh what … defending your girlfriend Weasley?" Malfoy said sarcastically.  
  
"I don't need anyone to defend me … Dra-CO … I can do just fine on my own!"   
Hermoine said, matter o factly!  
  
"Of course not … cause no one WOULD wanna defend you." Draco said, amused.  
  
"Right … coming from the expert himself … your insults are getting a little old Malfoy   
… what … running out of them!" Hermoine said, teasingly!  
  
"Course not … I spend all my free time, thinking of ways to insult you and your flat   
chest!" He said, while his two goons laughed.  
  
And something inside of Hermoine just snapped. Right after he said that, she shouted the   
words, 'Prescota Iloniai' and a pair of hands came out of no where and started slapping   
him. Except they wouldn't stop. And even as he tried to run away from them, they still   
followed.   
  
"Nice one Hermoine!" Harry said proudly!  
  
"Well … I try!" She replied bashfully.  
  
**********  
  
Draco ended up running to Snape to get a counter spell, and make it so the hands would   
stop hitting him. Hermoine kept hearing cheers from any Gryffindors passing by her in   
the hall. Of course she just passed it off as nothing, but it was nice to get noticed for   
once. Even for her.  
  
Harry and Ron were walking down to get dinner later that day, when once again, they ran   
into Draco!  
  
"Well … where's your … a … aggressive friend?" Draco asked bitterly.  
  
"You mean Hermoine … probably in the library … why?" Harry asked.  
  
"Just want to make sure my face will get a rest." Draco replied.  
  
"Aw … does it hurt … I mean it looks like it hurts … your whole face is black and blue."   
Ron said and couldn't help laughing!  
  
"Oh … the little side kick speaks." Draco said smugly.  
  
"I told you … I'm not a side kick … so go sod off." Ron replied.  
  
"What … am I … *gasp* … insulting you?" He replied.  
  
"No … but your voice is starting to hurt my ears." Ron replied angrily.  
  
"That's all I ever hear from you Weasley's … can't even come up with anything   
remotely insulting. By the way … how IS your mother … I heard it was rough on her   
managing the house payment … good thing she got rid of you for the school year …   
that's one mouth to feed." Draco said laughing his head off.  
  
"I've had enough of this." Ron said, "Calisto mocka" and with that, Draco's robes turned   
into muggle clothing.  
  
"What the hell did you do to me?" Draco asked disgusted. He had been dressed in jeans   
way to big for him and a yellow shirt that said 'I'm with stupid' pointing up. Draco   
really detested muggle's, which meant anything that had to do with him, including his   
cloths. He tried to change back into his old robes … but it wouldn't work.  
  
"What did you do to me?" Draco asked absolutely disgusted once again.  
  
"Well, let's just say, you better find a way to change back into your robes by the time you   
go to dinner, cause if anyone catches you that way … you just might get suspended." Ron   
said smiling to himself … as he and Harry turned to walk into the hall.  
  
**********  
  
Once again, Draco found himself running to Snape about a counter spell, and he could   
definitely tell, that Snape was starting to get a little annoyed with him. He kept telling   
him that it wasn't his fault, but Snape was tired of his excuses which made Draco even   
angrier.  
  
It wasn't till breakfast that they all saw him again, and he came to bug them at their table.  
  
"I see you got your robes back Draco!" Harry managed to say between some of the eggs   
he was eating.  
  
"Ha Ha … very funny!" Draco said, obviously not amused.  
  
"Actually … it kind of was!" Harry replied.  
  
"Your one to talk Potter … so what are you going to do to me now?" Draco asked   
sarcastically.  
  
"Why Draco … what are you implying?" Harry asked innocently.  
  
"I don't know WHAT is going on … but it's like, your all out to get me!" Draco replied.  
  
"Well, now that you mention it … A LOT has been happening to you." Harry said   
slightly amused.  
  
"What is it Potter … that scar finally getting to your head … you feeling tipsy now?" He   
asked.  
  
"Speaking of my scar … if your so interested in it … try this … Balabala oooii." And   
with that … a pink bunny scar appeared on Draco's head.  
  
"What is this now … not very impressive Potter … I can easily perform a counter spell to   
make it disappear." Draco replied showing no fear at all.  
  
"Won't make a difference … that's not the point of the hex … this is!" And Harry   
snapped his fingers making Draco scream in pain covering his hands to his head. He then   
continued to run out of there … and every now and then … Harry would snap his fingers   
… only to hear a scream however far or near it was.  
  
**********  
  
Once again, Draco ran to Snape … who was now obviously getting angry with Draco at   
the fact that he seemed to show up at the oddest times. Snape almost never got mad at a   
Slytherin. But this was getting ridiculous … and it was making their house look idiotic.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermoine decided to study in the library the next day for a test in   
History that they had, so Draco couldn't find them. Instead … he found Ginny sitting on   
the steps of the back of Hogwarts. Her brothers weren't around, and neither was Harry or   
Hermoine … so here was his chance for payback.  
  
"So … how's may favorite person doing today!" Draco said giving Ginny a very sly   
smile.  
  
"Go sod off Draco … I'm trying to study." Ginny replied, obviously annoyed.  
  
'Oh this is going to be fun.' Draco knew that insulting her family didn't bug her as much   
as it did Ron or the others. Infact, hardly anything could get to her, EXCEPT when he   
flirted with her. Cause she absolutely detested him, she found it revolting at the idea that   
he ever liked her.  
  
"So … what are you studying … I could help you know!" Draco said … moving closer   
to her, so they were only a few inches apart.  
  
"I'm not interested." She replied never taking her eyes off her book.  
  
"Fine then … how about we take your mind off it." He said moving even closer, making   
it so their robes were touching.  
  
She finally closed her book and looked straight into Draco's eyes and said, "Do you   
bounce Malfoy?"   
  
"What?" He asked confused.  
  
"Do . You . Bounce?" She asked slower for him.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" He replied even more confused.  
  
"It means … that if you don't get away from me in 3 seconds … I am going to shrink you   
… put you into a jar … throw you off of the top of Hogwarts … and see if you bounce."   
She said in a monotone. Then she got up and proceeded to walk away.  
  
But Draco knew he was getting a rise out of her, so he got up and followed her, then   
turned her around so they were two inches apart, "I'm sure you and I could find out." He   
said winking at her.  
  
And this set Ginny off. She quickly grabbed his arm turned around and flipped him over   
her shoulder. Then he tried to get up and grab her leg, which she took and kicked him in   
the chest, then took her foot, and put it on him, preventing him from moving.  
  
"Pity … it didn't bounce." She replied as she walked on top of him and walked away.  
  
**********  
  
"Wow … you really did that … cool." Hermoine told Ginny the next day at breakfast.  
  
"That's my sister for you!" Ron beamed proudly.  
  
"I have to admit … that's probably better than any of us could have done." Harry replied   
laughing.  
  
"God … I wish I could have seen his face." Ron said dreamily again.  
  
"I reckon that, that was probably the best 'trick'." Hermoine said.  
  
"You haven't seen ours yet." Fred said with a very sly smile. He pulled out some   
chocolate frogs, and set them in front of him.  
  
All of the sudden, they noticed Draco walk in, and he DIDN'T look happy.  
  
So George than said, "This was the last batch that mum sent to us … reckon they are very   
good."   
  
And everyone noticed Draco coming their way. But he didn't say anything. Knowing   
that he could make them mad if he ate them, he took them all, and of course, at them all.  
  
"Hey … those weren't yours!" Ginny said angrily.  
  
"Don't worry Gin … we WANTED him to eat them!" Fred said with a very big smile on   
his face.  
  
"Wh … what exactly did you put in these?" Draco asked very spectically.  
  
"Oh nothing!" Fred replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Just our own truth concoction." George beamed innocently.  
  
"WHAT?" Draco asked obviously scared.  
  
"Well … let's see if it works." Fred said happily.  
  
"Me first me first … Draco … who do you have a crush on?" Ron asked very, VERY   
happily.  
  
Draco all of the sudden turned very red, but only mumbled his answer so no one could   
here him.  
  
"Oh … what was that … we couldn't here you." Ron said obviously enjoying himself.  
  
"Hermoine Granger." He said obviously very embarrassed now.  
  
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Hermoine shouted, which everyone stared at her.  
  
"Hey … you …" Ron said a little jealous to Draco.  
  
Then everyone turned their attention to Hermoine again and she said, "I have suddenly   
lost my appetite!" And she looked disgustedly at Draco. Then walked away.  
  
"Ok … hmmm … who do you secretly envy." Ron asked again.  
  
"Harry Potter." Draco said … then scowled himself after he said that, for saying that.  
  
Everyone then started at Harry who was standing up.  
  
"Where you going?" Ron asked him.  
  
"I too, have suddenly lost my appetite … I think I will go join Hermoine now." Harry   
said … and then walked out the door towards the Gryffindor tower.  
  
"Ok … oh I got it … who do you hate the most?" Ron asked very happily.  
  
"YOU!" Draco replied.  
  
"Yes … oh yes … oh yeah … I'm gonna go tell Harry and Hermoine." Ron said happily   
as he ran after the others, obviously happy that he could cause so much distress on the   
one person he too, hated the most.  
  
**********  
  
Well, everyone agreed that Fred and George's 'Truth Frogs' caused the most damage …   
so all of the money went to them, and they each split it between themselves.   
  
It wasn't till 3 days later that Harry, Ron, and Hermoine saw the Slytherins once again,   
(Much to Hermoine's distress.) Draco for once, didn't make any comments towards   
them. But neither did they. Dumbledore ended up finding out what they all had done …   
and deducted a total of 50 points for the Gryffindors, putting them 10 points behind the   
Hufflepuffs.   
  
They all entered class, and worked on a new antidote for a new hex they learned. And it   
wasn't till Hermoine spilled a little on the desk that Draco decided to bug them again.  
  
"What is it Hermoine … couldn't control yourself" He said almost flirting with her. It   
was out in the opening now … there was no point hiding it.  
  
"Shut up Draco." Hermoine said never looking at him, she still hadn't gotten her appetite   
back.  
  
"What is it … does that turn you on?" He asked slyly.  
  
"God … leave her alone will you?" Ron said obviously getting upset.  
  
"Afraid of a little competition … Weasley?" Draco asked, liking the new annoyance he   
was afflicting.  
  
"Shut up Malfoy?" Snape roared.  
  
Everyone immediately stopped talking and looked shocked at what just happened. Snape   
had NEVER gotten upset with a Slytherin. But obviously, Draco started to have an effect   
on him.  
  
"You know what … I think I liked your better as a ferret!" And with that, Snape took out   
his wand, and there was a *pop* sound. And in Draco's seat was a white ferret again.  
  
"You know what … I think this tops Fred and George's 'Truth Frogs"!" Ron said very   
happily. Yes, this was turning out to be a very good day.  
  
The End.  
  
  



End file.
